Sunday, February 21, 2016

12 years ago...

...I woke up with tears in my eyes and a heaviness in my heart. My dreams of having a baby were gone because my baby was gone. To most people, it wasn't much, but to me it was my world. That day, I lost hope. Lost hope in my friends and family, in my marriage and in myself. I had both friends and family who turned away from me. I think because they didn't know what to say or do. My marriage started to fall apart because my husband had no idea how to handle me. I was not in the best state of mind. I lost hope in my body and blamed myself. No matter what everyone told me, I still blamed myself. I wanted to know everything about having a miscarriage. I read articles and blogs about miscarriages. I bought books to help me figure out what went wrong. Did I do something wrong? Was I too stressed? Did I not deserve to have a baby?


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